"But you're the one that hurt the most..."
Saturday, June 22, 2013 @ 4:28 AM
| 0 notes
We were together for eight months. That relationship lasted longer than it should have but I don't regret a thing. I'm writing this because my conscience is killing me and because somehow, I can't lie to myself. I miss you terribly.
I miss all those late nights, drinking with you, laughing at your stupid jokes and listening to all you troubles. Remember that no matter how difficult things were between us that I truly loved you with all my heart. I loved you more than myself and I've made sacrifices just so I could fit into your life. I didn't want to promise you forever because I know you didn't really want me stay.
I'm sorry. There was a point during our relationship where you treated me so badly that I snapped. I cheated on you. Three times. Three of your friends. I didn't want it to happen, but I didn't realize that until I did it. I was suppose to break things off with you but everytime I was going to say something, my throat dried up and body froze. Somehow, I was also glad that you were the one who broke things off.
I wanted to continue fighting for you, but at some point, I knew that I had to stop and accept our fate.
Sometimes, I sit in the dark and think about what should've been if things were different. I cried so many tears for you that I'm actually admitting that nobody else can cause me the same pain that you did. I've had boyfriends before you, but you're the one that hurt the most. You are the one that I loved the most. You are the one that I hate the most. And you are the one that brought out the best and worst in me.
Just one night, I want to lay my head on your chest and cry. I want to tell you everything that's been bothering me since we parted ways. I want to hear you say things like, "Sadness will end up killing you." or any of your other stupid advices. Just one night where we don't have to fight. Where we just remind each other that at one point, we both lost our minds because we were so in love. And where we both remind each other why we can't be together.
With all of this being said, I'm also apologizing to my current boyfriend. I can love you as much as I loved him, but things will be different. Please, do not think badly of me. There are just some things that are hard to let go of and I hope you understand.
Labels: emotions, heart matters, love
"But you're the one that hurt the most..."
Saturday, June 22, 2013 @ 4:28 AM
| 0 notes
We were together for eight months. That relationship lasted longer than it should have but I don't regret a thing. I'm writing this because my conscience is killing me and because somehow, I can't lie to myself. I miss you terribly.
I miss all those late nights, drinking with you, laughing at your stupid jokes and listening to all you troubles. Remember that no matter how difficult things were between us that I truly loved you with all my heart. I loved you more than myself and I've made sacrifices just so I could fit into your life. I didn't want to promise you forever because I know you didn't really want me stay.
I'm sorry. There was a point during our relationship where you treated me so badly that I snapped. I cheated on you. Three times. Three of your friends. I didn't want it to happen, but I didn't realize that until I did it. I was suppose to break things off with you but everytime I was going to say something, my throat dried up and body froze. Somehow, I was also glad that you were the one who broke things off.
I wanted to continue fighting for you, but at some point, I knew that I had to stop and accept our fate.
Sometimes, I sit in the dark and think about what should've been if things were different. I cried so many tears for you that I'm actually admitting that nobody else can cause me the same pain that you did. I've had boyfriends before you, but you're the one that hurt the most. You are the one that I loved the most. You are the one that I hate the most. And you are the one that brought out the best and worst in me.
Just one night, I want to lay my head on your chest and cry. I want to tell you everything that's been bothering me since we parted ways. I want to hear you say things like, "Sadness will end up killing you." or any of your other stupid advices. Just one night where we don't have to fight. Where we just remind each other that at one point, we both lost our minds because we were so in love. And where we both remind each other why we can't be together.
With all of this being said, I'm also apologizing to my current boyfriend. I can love you as much as I loved him, but things will be different. Please, do not think badly of me. There are just some things that are hard to let go of and I hope you understand.
Labels: emotions, heart matters, love
