The 4th Drink Instinct.
Monday, October 3, 2011 @ 5:33 AM | 0 notes

I have no idea-- for the nth time in my young life-- why I over-obsess about the tiniest things in the world. I feel like crying but nothing, and I do mean NOTHING, is coming out. I have the fakest laugh and smile right now. I'm not genuinely happy.


Depression is creeping within me and I feel so breathless. Someone sucked out all the oxygen and bits of my soul. I'm beating myself up. Fuck, I might end up being so self-destructive. I haven't eaten properly. Not that I don't want to; my body just shuts down when I get too stressed. I actually thought I was so fucking stress-free until that weird event on Facebook happened.


They're all there. Fate just handed these out to us and now I'm scared shitless. The cyber age only made Fate's mind-games worse. Every night I end up thinking about the things I've seen. Somehow, there is this feeling within me that I can't identify properly. I don't know if this is pure excitement or fear.


My dad told me last time about how I should make lemonade when life gives me lemons. I get what he means, I just don't know what I'd do with the five lemons that hit me hard on the chest. Somehow, I feel violated.


Oh well, paranoia fucks with me every month.


xo. KP